I Got Lost...

Did you think I got lost? I did. In life. The summer flew by and the fall came and went. Here it is December and it's COLD! It's been over a year since I lost the hearing in my right ear and so much has happened in that time. Let me catch you up!

I had one more mapping in August before I went back to school. More testing and mapping. The awesome results from June were even more incredible! The test where I had 93% correct in June jumped to 98% in August. Wow! That is in the sound booth. Real life isn't always that amazing, but I still love the results and feel so much better about my hearing.

The school year has gone really well. I feel so much more together and confident this year. With all the new mandates, Common Core, Student Learning Objectives, and teacher evaluations, I really have to stay on my game. If I had to face all this craziness that is education these days without my hearing, I'd be done real fast.

We have a really cool program in Northwest Ohio called Kids on the Block. This organization comes around to classes and groups and uses full body puppets to teach kids about disabilities and how to interact with someone with a disability. They have come to our school for years, but just last year they added cochlear implants to the list of disabilities that they address. Knowing this, I shared with my kids that I wear a hearing aid in one ear and have a cochlear implant in the other. Most did not know this about me and they found it fascinating! They thought they were pretty special to know someone with a cochlear implant when the Kids on the Block were sharing about them.

This fall I decided to get a new hearing aid for my left ear. My hearing has been deteriorating slightly (old age!) and my hearing aid was five years old. That is about the usual lifetime of a hearing aid and my old one had been bumped up to maximum volume for that model. Plus, technology has changed so much since I bought my last hearing aids, that my audiologist had lots of cool new hearing aid advances she wanted to share with me. We have been saving money all year with the idea to buy 2 new ones in the near future. Now that I have a CI on the right, I only need to purchase one hearing aid. In case you are wondering, an average hearing aid runs about $2,000. Like all technology, the more bells and whistles, the higher the cost. I got a Phonak Naida Q70. I really like the Phonak hearing aids. I switched to this brand with the last hearing aids I got. I have been very pleased with the devices and the service, which I cannot say about some of the hearing aids I have had in the past! I got my new hearing aid about 2 weeks ago, just before Thanksgiving. Things are louder which I like, but sound quality is not what I would like it to be. First of all, my internal sounds (my voice, chewing, etc.) sound very "tin can - like". I do not like this at all. I was hoping this would eventually go away as I got used to the new hearing aid, but it is still there. Also background sounds are so loud, I have trouble hearing conversation - especially on the phone. I have worn hearing aids long enough that I know the settings are never ideal the first time around. It takes constant tweaking with honest communication between patient and audiologist. I will have lots of requested changes when I go back in a week for my follow-up.

Well, you're about up to speed now. I have a hearing aid follow up on Dec. 20 and a 6 month mapping appointment for my CI on Jan. 2. I will update after those appointments. Until then, I wish you a blessed holiday with all the wonderful sounds of the season! Merry Christmas!

I LOVE my cochlear implant!

Well, I apologize for the delay in posts. Life has been just crazy since school let out at the end of May. Here it is the end of June and the chaos hasn't stopped! I had my third mapping on June 13 and immediately left for camping for 4 days. No internet connection to update the blog. Upon returning home we had vacation bible school, swim team practice and a meet, technology training at school, horse camp, and getting the girls packed for 4-H camp. Then drive kids to camp, scrapbook evening, whirlwind surprise bedroom makeover for my oldest girl while she was away at camp, and then put things back together and pick kids up from camp. <breathe> Then, continue with swim team practice, horse camp, and drive kids to musical rehearsal every day. Recover from bedroom makeover. We're still working on the pile mountain of junk "stuff" in the living room from Maddie's room. And... we're out of town again this weekend.

BUT... I am doing all this running around with renewed vigor because I can hear! I REALLY LOVE IT! At my last appointment, my audiologist did more mapping, and after setting my new programs, put me in the booth for some hearing tests. She and I were so excited to see the results! One of the tests I did was sentence testing. Sentences were spoken by many different kinds of voices and I had to repeat the sentences back. In January, wearing the high-powered hearing aid I had to try for a month prior to my CI, my score was 32% correct in a quiet environment. In June, wearing my CI processor, my score was 93% correct! The same test with background noise was given. My audiologist didn't even do the background noise with me in January because my score was so low. In June, I had 84% correct in noise. Incredible! I thought I would share my audiograms from January and June also to show you the improvement. These are for the ear with the implant. Sorry they are a bit blurry!

Before CI surgery, I could not hear the high frequencies. See the big drop?

With the CI, I can now hear those higher frequencies!

Life is good right now. I really feel like I can hear important things that I was missing before. Life is more enjoyable also. The sound with the CI is not yet perfect. I still hear robotic voices a bit. But if I don't concentrate on that, I can block it out and things feel mostly normal. I have 4 different settings now on my processor - everyday, noise, quiet, music. My "homework" is to practice using each of these settings. Right now I mostly use the everyday setting. It's the one that sounds the best. I have switched to the noise setting when I am at gatherings with lots of people, restaurants, and so forth. It seems to help a little with conversation. Music comes and goes. The music setting doesn't seem to improve it much. Acoustic music sounds the best. Electronic music such as electric guitars, radio, etc. often still sound a lot like static. But it will get better. I am confident in that.

Want to know some of the times I have been utterly grateful for this opportunity and just thank God I have a cochlear implant? Well, it's my blog so I am going to share anyway! There are no longer burned meals in our house due to that high pitched oven timer. I can hear it from several rooms away! I drove to a party at a friend's Michigan cottage and was able to have a conversation with my girlfriend in the car without having to look at her and read her lips! I can hear my kids when they talk to me from the back seat of the car. Right now I can hear the TV two rooms away. Those things would never happen before. I am so thankful.

I have to leave you with this humorous photo my dad found in an ad in the paper. Sometimes I feel like this!

More new sounds and reasons to dance for joy!

Well, I passed the restaurant test. I am so excited! This afternoon I went to a restaurant with a large group and I could hear 95% of the conversation around me! I could participate because I could hear!! I could even hear people talking that were a couple people down the table. It was awesome. If I hadn't been in a public place, I may have done a happy dance. (It was a mexican restaurant with fantastic margaritas, so maybe it is not unusual to see someone do a happy dance in the restaurant. But I refrained.)

Before my surgery, and even before the sudden hearing loss in November, restaurants were not a favorite place. Large groups were even worse. It was just too much noise, and no matter how hard I tried, I struggled to be a part of the conversation. I usually ended up feeling left out. Not today. I really enjoyed myself like I haven't in years. Yay! More HOPE.

I had my one week appointment yesterday. My audiologist did more testing and mapped out a new program for me. When she turned the new program on, it was LOUD! She had to back it off quite a bit, but it is still even louder than the programs I had last week. I am hearing even more new things. Again, I have homework before my one month appointment. I have four programs and, again, I have to work my way up to program four by June 13.

This little miracle inside my head just keeps getting better. I still have the munchkin voices, but I don't care. I'm hearing things I haven't heard since I was a kid. Last night, I heard an incredibly annoying bird outside the window. Today I heard the kitchen timer I use in my classroom - from across the room! I can hear the morning and dismissal bell again at school. (The kids will tell you, it's loud! But I couldn't hear it after November.) A friend came into my classroom to talk to me while my kids were watching a video and she spoke very quietly and there was background noise from the video, and I had no problem hearing her. She even said she was speaking much softer than she normally would when talking to me. All of these little things are miracles to me! I am overjoyed by the sounds I am hearing. Each different situation provides another opportunity to test out my new hearing. One thing I have not done since activation is watch TV. I just haven't had time with the craziness of the last few weeks of school. Maybe come June 4, I can sit down with some of my favorite shows and do some more "testing".

Testing, testing...

Can I just say how excited I am?!?! This first day at school with my cochlear implant turned on was not high on my list of priorities. In fact, I was sort of dreading it. I was sure the noise and static would get to me and I would have to remove my processor before day's end. That was not the case. In fact, I was pleasantly surprised at how well my hearing was today. I came home in a good mood, and it was a MONDAY!

I showed my students the processor and explained to them how it worked. I showed them that the magnet in the coil sticks to the metal chair and to my head. They thought that was cool. (I'm a little amazed by that too!) I told them that I could hear better now, but when they all talk at once I can't understand them - it's just a bunch of noise. I need everyone to talk one at a time so I can understand what they are saying. A few times today, when I couldn't understand them, I saw them shushing their fellow students so that they could be heard. (Maybe I should have used that line at the beginning of the year!) Anyway, I passed day one of the "classroom test". We'll see how tomorrow goes.

I also got to test out my CI at a retirement party this afternoon. A crowded room full of noisy conversations on Saturday put my CI into a tailspin and all I could hear was static and electronic noise. I had to remove it for a while. Today, no need. While there was background noise that was difficult to shut out, I could hear more conversation. I still missed some things, but I caught more than I have in the last 6 months, and maybe even more than before I had my sudden hearing loss. It was promising instead of depressing, which is what situations like that usually are for me. The background noise and hum of many conversations going on simultaneously just drowns out the voices I am trying to hear, no matter how close I am or how hard I am concentrating. Today, I felt like I was close to being able to hear and participate even at a noisy party. HOPE.

Sometime on Sunday, voices moved from being mostly robotic to more munchkin-sounding. I almost laughed during church as I listened to the congregation singing and it sounded very much like I was surrounded by a munchkin choir.

Tonight I changed to program three. My assignment was to work my way up to three or four by my appointment on Wednesday. I am being a model student and doing my homework. I am happy that sound is becoming "normal" and I am adjusting as quickly as I am. I really didn't expect these results this fast. Sounds aren't yet normal. Everything still has that electronic ringing and voices are still munchkin-like, but each day gets a little better. Music isn't quite as wonderful, but I am not concentrating my effort on that at this time. I want to get speech recognition mastered first. My audiologist said it would take several months to enjoy music and get to the point where I would be able to sing in choir, praise team, etc.

My new sound to rejoice over today? I can now hear the beeper on the oven timer - even from another room! Believe me when I say the whole family is happy about that!

Activation Day

My cochlear implant is activated. On Friday, I was fitted with my processor and turned on. It wasn't a miraculous thing like some people imagine. It wasn't clear. It wasn't even too loud. The first thing I heard was squeals and squeaks and beeps. Lots of them. Then with in a few minutes those squeaks and beeps only happened when people were speaking or there was sound in the room. Within the 40 minutes I was in the audiologist's office, the squeaks and beeps turned to words. Everything was very electronic. Voices sounded like robots. Yesterday, all sounds had an electronic quality. They were louder than before and they sounded like the sounds they are, but they were accompanied by an electronic ringing - like you might hear from a bad microphone - that hollow, ringing sound.

Today, sounds were fairly regular sounding - a little bit of the ringing remains. I notice that I can hear things that I could not before. So that is something to rejoice over! I heard the cat's bell yesterday for the first time. (OK, maybe that is something I am not going to rejoice over!) I can hear the keys on my keyboard clicking as I type. The rustle of paper. So, I discover that maybe I was not being quite as stealth as I thought when I sneak into my children's rooms or quietly try to do something without disturbing others.

Voices continue to sound like robots. In regular conversation, I can deal with that. In noisy situations, I get nothing but electronic static and reverberation. I am a little concerned about being in the classroom on Monday. My classroom qualifies as one of those "noisy situations". We'll have to see if I can make it through the day wearing the processor.

I picked out a lovely, fashionable dark brown for my processor. OK, I admit, I just wanted it to match my hair color. Fashion had nothing to do with it. Until she told me I get one processor cover with my kit. Then, of course, I picked a zebra print! When we walked out of the audiologist's office, she sent me on my way with a suitcase of accessories and literature. I am not joking when I say suitcase. It is literally the size of a small carry-on suitcase. It has a shoulder strap and everything! It weighs eight pounds. (I weighed it.) This gadget comes with more bells and whistles than an iphone. She only explained about half of them to me and I have to bring my suitcase with me next week to my appointment to get briefed on the remaining cords and gizmos. I even have a remote to work my volume, programs, and check battery status.

In my first few days, I have to say that it hasn't been bad. It hasn't been overwhelmingly great, either. But, I can say that it shows promise. I have to be patient and let my brain adjust to the sounds. I have four programs on my remote. My audiologist set up the same program on all, just bumping up the volume on each one. My assignment before my next appointment is to move up to the next program every 2-3 days. Today I tried the second program just to see what it sounded like. Truthfully, it didn't sound much different from the first one, except maybe a bit louder. So I left it there. In a couple of days I'll try program three. When I return for my next mapping appointment on Wednesday, we will do more testing, tweaking and eventually set up specific programs for different situations.

So, my first impression? I don't hate it. I don't love it. But, I think eventually I will.

"Bad Hearing" Days

Well, I've had a few "bad hearing" days in the last week. Not as many since surgery as I thought I'd have - my kids at school are actually more understanding when I don't hear something now than before my surgery. I think it's because they (and others) are now more aware that I cannot hear in certain situations. This makes life a bit easier for me. People who are aware of my hearing loss and recent adventures adapt to speak to me by doing simple, but effective things. Speak directly to me, face to face. I need to read your lips. Speak loudly and clearly, but don't shout. I appreciate these small gestures that people close to me have been doing for years because of my hearing loss.

So what are "bad hearing" days? I'm sure people with normal hearing don't have them, but then again, maybe you do. There are some days or situations that I just feel like my hearing aid isn't working correctly or my ears are plugged up. I just struggle to hear. I can't understand anything. Sometimes it may be the situation. Maybe I can blame it on the weather. I don't know why my ears do this sometimes, but I do know that other people with hearing impairments have "bad hearing" days also.

Last Thursday, the girls and I went to Rally's for supper. I hate that staticky order-taking microphone/speaker thing. Even on good hearing days, I can't understand a thing they say to me. I relay our order and the lady inside the box says something back. No clue. I look at Maddie with a confused look and she translates. I answer and order the rest of our food and again she speaks in gobbley-gook. Maddie again translates. This happened about 3 times just placing our order. As we pull away, Maddie states that she should always place the order when we go through the drive-thru. Ugh. Inside my head I am hoping that next time I go through that drive-thru I can understand.

This time of year I have to attend a lot of meetings for work. Meetings are the worst. I hate meetings, but probably not for the same reasons as others. It is so hard for me to hear anybody not speaking with a microphone at a meeting. Even in small groups it is difficult to understand everyone if more than one person is talking at a time. It's worse if there is background noise. Even if it is just a fan or vent. That white noise is NOISE. It gets in the way of me hearing what I need to hear. Sometimes I am utterly exhausted just trying to hear and understand during the course of a day.

Last night we went to my daughter's band concert. I was not looking forward to it because listening to music in a place with bad acoustics is often just a noise-fest for me. The concert was in the high school gym - not the greatest place to appreciate music. Also, I have struggled with hearing higher frequencies and the melody of music since my sudden hearing loss in November. But I can say that the concert was quite enjoyable. Either my expectations had dropped so low that it was not nearly as bad as I thought or I was having a better hearing day. Who knows. Maybe the bands were so spectacular that they prevailed over my bad hearing. Yeah, we'll go with that. They were good.

I know I'll still have "bad hearing" days after my CI is activated, but I am hoping that they will be minimal. I am setting high standards for my bionic ear to hear and UNDERSTAND that voice in the drive-thru speaker, go into a meeting and UNDERSTAND the whole conversation, no matter who is speaking. I am not as confident on the clarity of music as I have heard mixed results from other CI recipients. That will have to be determined.

Just 2 days until activation. I am very excited. I am not nervous, more of a feeling of uncertainty. I do not want to set my expectations too high and be disappointed in the first few days. But I do put a lot of hope into this device. In my heart, I want to hear NOW. In my head, I know it can be days, weeks, months, even years of mapping for some people to find the settings that give them the best hearing and clarity for the situations of their lives.

Four weeks. When you are waiting for something, time usually goes by so slowly. I am amazed that surgery has come and gone and my activation date is upon me. I am ready.